What Will I Write? (I'm A Dead River)

I just saw a post on Maia's Facebook - a link to her blog. When I opened I just suddenly miss my own blog which has never got my attention for almost 2 years now. Yes, 2 years. And that's how long I struggled with writing, too.

I don't know, but slowly I realized that I no longer have the urge to write anything. Poems, short stories, everything! Including paper assignments in my Master's ed. I just have this writing block and I'm afraid that it would be blocked forever. Like a dead river where once a great flow of water was there but because of some circumstances it was dried up and was considered dead. No water can pass through it anymore.

This is ironic, actually. I'm writing on my blog when all I could tell my best friend is that I can't write anymore. I don't even want to read his write ups because I know I would feel so bad when I see it.

This is a lame attempt, maybe. I'm forcing myself to finish this. Things are just popping out my mind on what to write here but I can't organize them. (Oh King Kay Oss, what are you doing?)

I try to write in here because just maybe, just maybe there would be a little spark and the dead river that I am now would have a little life. Just for now.

I really can't write now. and READ. I have been forcing myself, too, to read but I just can't finish a page or two of any book I get hold on to. Before, I just have the habit to buy books to satisfy my thoughts that I still want to read. But in the past weeks when I look at them, it seems as if they're just of those decorations inside the house. I'm not in love with them anymore. Cool-off.


Basta! I just let things happen. Maybe in the near future I will have my Love back again and I will no longer be a dead river.

{I don't know how to end this. But I want you to know I'm ending this but there are still things playing on my mind. I don't know how to put them into words.Pasensya lang kun galibot libot ginasulat ko di. Indi na gid ko kabalo magsulat. =( }